My letter to Barbara Boxer

Barbara’s letter to me:

Dear Friend:

This week I joined Senate colleagues to speak out against the House Republicans’ “Cut, Cap, and Balance” Act, an extreme bill that would drastically cut Medicare and Social Security in order to pay for tax breaks for millionaires, billionaires, and special interests.  

I also called on Republicans to work with us to avoid a catastrophic default by the United States, which would be devastating for America’s economy and its families.

To watch excerpts from our press conference, please click here.

Sincerely,


Barbara Boxer
United States Senator

My letter to her:

Your email this morning was beyond incredible!  You joined Senate collegues to speak out against the House?  Being Partisan for the sake of being partisan?  And accusing the other side of doing so?  You are trying to make the Republicans look like the bad guys, when they are just trying to clean up the mess our socialist president (and you democrats in congress) have gotten us into.
America HAS to take cuts in Medicare and Social Security in order to survive.  Can’t you see that?  Even the AARP can see that and have endorsed reduction in benefits.  These programs were created when the life expectancy was 65.  Now it’s 85, and the benefits are not sustainable.
To phrase the Republicans wish to reduce taxes “for millionaires, billionaires and special interests” is a downright lie.  How can you do such a thing?  It is purely sensationalism.  The upper 5-10% pay 50% of all taxes!  The lower 50% of americans pay no taxes!  How is this fair?  Everyone should support the government, not just the rich.  Any tax cut could be phrased as “for the rich” since they are the people who pay most of the taxes!

Time to wake up.  These are extraordinary times which need extraordinary measures.

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The Day I Almost Died

published previously on Qondio

The Day I almost Died

By Jade Bonterra

 When I was 19, I moved to Fortuna California to be with my boyfriend of 5 years, John. At 19, you don’t really realize the character elements that you want in a mate and this was part of my process for determining if this was the person I would spend the rest of my life with.  The morning of that fateful day started similar to most: wake up, make coffee, eat breakfast, go to school, which for me was a Junior College not far from Fortuna. It was the first day, I had the confusion of finding out where classes were, what teachers expected, getting my books, and trying to fit in to a place where I knew no one. John worked at Safeway, and so school wouldn’t be a part of his life.  The night before John had said to me “why are you bothering to go to school? You’ll never be an engineer. You should just marry me and get pregnant”. For someone who has always done well in school and had made the difficult decision to become an engineer, this was quite a blow.  Not because I believed him (fortunately) but because I realized he didn’t support my goals. This created quite division in my thinking: do I follow love of this person, or do I follow my dream? I was so torn, I wished for a sign of which direction to go.  After school, I went home and made a roast. It was the first one I had ever made before, so I followed the recipe precisely. The roast had to cook for 3 hours so I started it at 3:00. Just as the roast went into the over, John and his friend Doug staggered in totally drunk. They had the idea that we should all go to the beach (near Ferndale) and drink more. I refused. I was only 19 but I was not about to get into a vehicle with two drunks. They thought my refusal was funny, so they picked me up like a sack of potatoes and threw me into the back of the Jeep, which had only a milk crate for a seat. I started to cry because I was so scared, and that fueled attempts to see how scared they could get me. I screamed for them to let me out, but they drove on, laughing, swerving on purpose and driving off the road because it made me so afraid.At Ferndale, we turned on the wet, winding road to the coast.  Doug continued to swerve to terrify me and it worked. At some point, he decided to see how fast he could go around a corner (on the wet road, with faulty brakes on one side). He lost control and the Jeep turned sideways to the direction we were going, and started to roll and bounce. I had the thought “I’m going to die right now”.  There was glass breaking and I was being thrown all around the vehicle because I wasn’t even on a seat, I was on a milk crate.When I woke up, I was in the middle of the road. A lady had my head in her lap and was moving the hair out of my eyes. She told me she had seen the whole thing: the Jeep losing control, me being thrown out of it (through a window or door) and the Jeep BOUNCED OVER ME. She thought I would have been smashed flat but by some miracle, the Jeep bounced over me and missed me. The impact to the ground did break my pelvis, and I had scraped along the ground in so many places that I was pretty bloody (I still have a scar on my forehead from a gash there), but I was alive. I couldn’t move my legs, which was terrifying, but I was honestly so grateful that I wasn’t dead, that I though being paralyzed would be a price I would pay. I also thought, “well, this is a message, isn’t it”. I knew that once I recovered, I would leave John and find someone who would be better for me.

For the minor details:
-The roast burned to a crisp. I had asked the police officer who asked me questions in the hospital to please have someone turn off the oven so my house wouldn’t burn down. He thought I was delirious at first, but after several repeats he realized that I was totally coherent.
I moved home with my parents and eventually recovered from all my injuries. I missed a semester of school, but I got back to it and got an AS degree from Sierra College in Rocklin. I went on to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, and received my Mechanical Engineering degree. I also have a Masters Degree in Engineering Management from Santa Clara. I now have worked in the aerospace field for 24 years, and married the best man I ever met. I did get pregnant, late in life (when I was 40) and we have two wonderful children.I can’t recommend a near-death experience for everyone, but I can tell you that it has been something that I learned so much from. Every day I wake up is a good day and I still feel happy to be alive every single day. I have an appreciation for life and living that was enhanced, that day I almost died.

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Your Personal Highest and Best Use

Finding your Personal Highest and Best Use

The term “Highest and Best Use” (HABU) is used in real estate appraisals to indicate the most lucrative use of a property.  HABU is a concept you can apply to your own personal conditions to get to personal success, in whatever manner you define it, or in business conditions to maximize efficiency in the organization.

To use a real estate example:  a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom house on an acre in a thriving business district could be far more valuable than any other house in town, because the land it’s on could be used for a business.  The HABU could be millions of dollars, whereas the structure itself is worth almost nothing.  The HABU represents the potential of the property, rather than the current condition of the property.

Now, let’s think about how we use our own personal resources, such as money, time, power and influence.  It makes sense to use our resources in the most efficient way, considering what our goals are.  Common goals are money (or we’ll just call them assets), happiness, job satisfaction, efficiency or ability to help others.  We’ll call these common goals “Personal Success” because the definition is unique to you.  This concept is very simple, once you hear it, but so many people don’t think about their own Highest and Best Use.

Are you using your personal resources in the best way for you to achieve personal success? 

This question came to me one night while trying to think of what would be the best way for me to contribute to Greg Mortenson’s efforts to build schools to educate girls in Afghanistan and Pakistan, through the Central Asia Institute (CAI).  Some people might think of quitting their lucrative positions to go help build the schools… but that probably isn’t the action that would result in the most help to CAI.  I thought I could donate money, but then thought about an alternative.  Let’s say I was going to donate $100.  What if I went out and bought $100 worth of used copies of “Three Cups of Tea” (Greg’s book about the beginning of the effort to build schools in Pakistan) and gave them to people I came across?  In my experience, everyone who reads “Three Cups of Tea” wants to share the book with someone else, AND donate money to build schools.  I think that the $100 I spent on the books would probably result in $200 or more to the organization.  The HABU for my $100 was buying the books and sharing them with people I come across at work because I believe that will result in an income stream from the people I influenced, and the people they influenced, etc…

Think about what is the best way to contribute to your children’s classroom.  I have a Masters degree in Engineering, and have an exciting job in the satellite field.  Is the best use of my time in the classroom cutting out paper squares for an art project?  I think not.  I think the best use of my time is to prepare a presentation about satellites to the kids, so they can get an idea about how math and science can be exciting.

Think about what is the best way to contribute to your company.  Is the best use of your time to “just do your job” or is it to do your job in a way that will improve the process, so others can do their job better?

Think about house-cleaning and the value of your time.  I would much rather spend my time playing with my children, than clean my house.  I pay someone else to do the house-cleaning so that I can have more time to be with my kids.  To me, having a professional clean my house is HABU of my resources (I trade money for time, a trade that doesn’t work for everyone). 

Do you have more time than money? Like to trade some of your time for money?  Then, be sure you are doing it in a way that makes sense.  What are your capabilities?  There are ways to make money on the internet, if you take the time to do it.  Here again, make the best use of your time:  if you have 100 hours to spend creating a website to make money, don’t spend it making a site about iPods.  You will never be able to compete against Apple, Best Buy or any other site to sell iPods.  Pick something where you are not competing against every other person who wanted to develop a website.  Pick a niche topic, such as Collectible Plant Seeds, or something you are interested in and work on that.  The results will pay you back if you chose your topic “off the beaten path”.

The people we commonly think of as successful have found their Highest and Best Use.  People like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs wouldn’t be where they are if they had decided that their HABU was gardening (for example).  Greg Mortenson has made the difference in thousands of people’s lives because he decided that his HABU was to enable the building of many schools (165 at this writing) for children (especially girls) in remote villages in Pakistand and Afghanistan.   The Dalai Lama wouldn’t be who is if he had decided to be a sherpa (not that he had a choice to be the Dalai Lama, though!).  Many mothers struggle with the question of “how am I most valuable to my children” with a whole spectrum of answers, each specific to the values of the mother.  My decision was based on my goal to see my daughter grow up to be independent and know she has a role model to see that women can be valuable workers and can make their own money.  The price is that I don’t get to see her at 2:30 when she gets out of school.  We all have our own measures.

This article on Moneywatch about Highest and Best Use takes a slightly different tack but in a similar way.  It discusses how many people feel underutilized in their work and also how many people choose businesses to start that really don’t have a chance because it wasn’t the persons “best use”.  The exercise it recommends could be quite enlightening, because in some ways it is so obvious. 

  • List the things you are good at (your capabilities)
  • List the things you enjoy (hobbies, sports)
  • List the things that bring you joy (happiness, meaning, purpose).

 What are in all three categories?  Those are the things you should focus on to enhance your personal success.

Think about your own HABU whenever you are making a decision about your resources.  You will find more personal success if you do.

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Positive sayings I like

its not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning how to dance in the rain.

“Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny; it is the light that guides your way.” – Heraclitus

“A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to …something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her is an hour …a youth she’s content to leave behind …a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age …a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra …one friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry …a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family …eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a …meal, that will make her guest feel honored and a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… how to fall in love without losing herself …how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…when to try harder and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents …that her childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over …what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more … how to live alone even if she doesn’t like it …whom she can trust, whom she can’t and why she shouldn’t take it personally …where to go be it to her best friend’s kitchen table, or a charming Inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing …what she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month and a year.”

-Maya Angelou

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you down, beat you down to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, nobody is going to hit harder than life but, it ain’t how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward.Thats how winning is done. Now if you know what you’re worth go out and get what you’re worth but, you have to be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and you aint no coward.”

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What this blog is about

There are so many topics I have an opinion on!   So, I though I’d write about these disparate thoughts and see what other people think.

How we should treat others, what is my “highest and best use”, why Jerry Brown shouldn’t be governor of California, what it’s like to live in the same town as Google (there is no dowside!), is it the right time to buy real estate, do Los Altos schools test too much (yes), what is the perfect belt for jeans, what do you wear when you DON’T want more success, why the economy is in the toilet and when will it come out, why the Federal Government should follow Arizona’s lead (but won’t because of corruption)  etc…  just so much to write about, for someone who is never short on opinions…

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